At least they're honest

Living in the current (read: screwed) economic situation, as you can well imagine (and have probably noticed), the job market blows harder than a springtime tornado. I feel lucky to have a solid job, working with cool people, that doesn't involve:

1. Waste removal

or

2. The Gap

but this doesn't mean I don't check out the local Craigslist every now and again for potential full time, tv/film employ. I mean, Annie nailed a job on a kickass PBS series - maybe I could do the same?

After clicking my bookmarked Craigslist page, and scrolling down to the tv/film category, I click. I read. And I am thoroughly amused. The latest (bolded in the appropriate places so you can truly enjoy my frustration):


Looking for software geek / creative video producer using Adobe element 8, Camtasia etc. software.
(we have software; but applicant must have completed videos, powerpoint, etc..to show.
(Unless you want to learn and work on strictly a profit share basis)

Should have gift for script writing, voice over, transitions, animation, ect. (sic) (maybe even 3D)
Must have ability to upload content, direct and produce digitally so to speak. Basically we need video software geek!

Pay by project, very low pay until we complete some projects, but profit share if video's(sic) go well.
No bad stuff so don't worry about that. No nude, immoral, or unethical videos.
Mainly Business to Business films. Highest integrity and character references required.

Also looking for starving actors and actresses.

Whoever dose (sic) this well should make allot (sic) of money as soon as we go live!

Now, aside from the obvious grammatical and spelling errors, what this means to me as a professional producer is:

1. They want you to be able to write, direct, produce, animate ("maybe even 3D") these videos (what the hell are THEY doing?)

and

2. FOR FUCKING FREE

I am constantly amazed by the number of "job" ads posted that match this nearly to a T:

"YOU: Must be able to write, perform, direct, produce, edit, provide contacts, animate, juggle, spit a minimum of 20 yards, and make Republicans have feelings.

WE: We'll just sit and watch you do these things."

It's tight out there, man. If you're employed, thank your lucky stars. If you aren't...I have a project I might need your help on writing, producing, directing, animating...